canım marco stanley fogg olmak çekti

“..Ay Sarayı sözcükleri, bir vahiy gizemi ve büyüsü ile aklımı çelmeye başladı. Bu sözcüklerde her şey içiçeydi: Victor dayım ve Çin, uzay gemileri ve müzik, Marco Polo ve Amerika’nın batısı. Tabelaya bakıyor ve elektriği düşünmeye başlıyordum. Bu düşünce, birinci sınıfı okuduğum yıl New York’daki ünlü elektrik kesintisi olayını çağrıştırıyor, oradan aklıma Wrigley’de oynanan baseball maçları geliyor, sonra yeniden Victor dayımı ve penceremde yanan adak mumlarını düşünüyordum. Her düşünce bir yenisine yol açıyor, giderek büyüyen sarmallar içinde herşey birbirine bağlanıyor, kitlesel bağlantılar kuruluyordu. Örneğin bilinmeyene yolculuk fikri ve Kolomb ile astronotlar arasındaki paralellikler. Çin’e ulaşmanın başarısızlığı olarak Amerika’nın keşfi; çin yemekleri ve boş midem; düşünce, düşünülecek şey ve bir düşler sarayı olan kafa. Düşünüyorum: Apollo projesi; müzik tanrısı Apollo; Victor dayı ve Ay adamlarının batı turnesi. Düşünüyorum: batı; Kızılderililerle savaş; Vietnam savaşı, bir zamanlar Hindiçini denen Vietnam. Düşünüyorum:Silahlar, bombalar, patlamalar;Utah ve Nevada çöllerindeki nükleer bulutlar, sonra kendi kendime soruyordum : Amerika’nın batı bölgesi neden ayın yüzeyine benziyor? Bu böyle sürüp gidiyor ve kendimi gizli bağlantılara açtığım oranda, dünya ile ilgili temel gerçekleri kavrama noktasına yaklaşıyordum. Belki de deliriyordum, ama yine de içimde müthiş bir gücün yükseldiğini, her şeyin can alıcı noktasına sızan bir coşkuyu hissediyordum. Sonra bu gücü, nasıl birdenbire edindiysem, öyle birdenbire yitirdim..”



by paul auster



p.s:
kim la bu marco?

(:

Marco Stanley Fogg is the protagonist of Paul Auster’s "Moon Palace". He grew up with his mother until he was eleven when she was killed in a traffic accident. There was never any father in his life but his uncle Victor with whom he lived after the death of his mother. Uncle Victor was the only person to give hold to his life and to whom he could talk about everything. In a way he became dependent on his uncle who was his only family. Marco Fogg was a calm person who felt comfortable in the presence of his uncle Victor. Marco’s life was very boring because day after day he went to college. He was very ambitious to reach a higher education though he never had any close relationships to other students.
After the death of his uncle Victor, Marco Fogg totally changed into an other person. From that point on he abandoned himself "to the chaos of the world" [p.80], he let himself go. He didn’t care about where he was going to or what he would do in the future, but in a way he was conscious of that carelessness. He wasn’t anymore that average young student he used to be. The situation of loneliness had caused a mental transformation, his carelessness had made him lose his apartment, so he led a life on the streets for several months, a life in the Central Park - Marco Fogg was isolated from society! In order to survive he sold the books he received from his uncle. This gradual process of regression went on until Kitty Wu and his friend Zimmer took him in.
Marco Fogg moved in to Zimmer and started picking up his bits and pieces of his life. He found a chance to make himself useful by translating a manuscript for Zimmer. There was a purpose to his life again. Kitty Wu with whom he fell in love gave him also hold to start a "new life". At that stage of his relationship with Kitty Marco’s sexual impulses were stronger than anything else. After a while he started looking for a job. At the Columbia University Marco found a job description. He started to "serve as live-in companion" [p. 97] for Thomas Effing, but Marco wasn’t aware of the fact that Effing was his grandfather. Marco started paying much attention to Effing and his life. He was very helpful and patient with Effing, always showing his interest also when he was treated bad by him. Learning much about life Marco assumed more responsibility as he used to. He began to see the world in an other way, in the way of Effing. During the time he was together with Effing he was happier than ever before. When Effing died Marco received a large amount of money. Marco promised to contact Effing’s son, Solomon Barber who was his unknown father.
The first time when Marco saw Barber he was shocked about his outward appearance, but later he admired him because of his self-confidence. At that stage he didn’t want to believe the fact that Solomon was his father, but then he was even a bit proud to have Barber as his father. During that time his girl-friend Kitty became pregnant. Marco was so happy about it that he couldn’t await to see his child, but Kitty felt differently toward that baby. She wanted an abortion and went through with it, but Marco couldn’t accept Kitty’s decision and decided to withdraw from her for a time. During the time he was separated from her he lived together with his father Solomon. Barber and Fogg went to the grave of Fogg’s mother. Solomon fell into an open grave where he broke his back and consequently died. The death of Barber made Marco call Kitty. When he asked her to take him back she refused him because she didn’t want to be hurt again.
All his loss he come to know during his life made him walk. He started walking alone towards the West. Marco was angry and confused about that what happened that he began walking without ending. During his walking he thought about his life and he came to the conclusion that his past life was settled. Marco Fogg was going towards his new life- his future!